Re: Marriage Customs and Traditions

[sllee <sllee@asiawind.com>]

Hi,

Thanks for your mail. Actually the best thing is to ask your wife and her
parents. It is not considered impolite to do that.  In fact they would love
to hear your questions and answer that for you. Many Hakka families abroad do
not observe the old customs any more. In fact, most of the time, it is the
girl's family that pays more for the marriage. And as a father of two girls,
I would not demand them to find someone to observe these customs either.  So,
just do what you think is the best for their daughter, and they will be
pleased. Personally, I don't think I would like to see that kind of custom to
continue. The only thing I would cherish is respect and love in the family. 
I am forwarding your mail to the Hakka Global Network and the Hakka forum and
hopefully there is a better answer than mine. You can follow the forum
discussion by going to my website. I would forward the mail from the Hakka
Global Network to you, or you can join by writing to Jonathan Teoh. 

Best wishes,

SL Lee

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On Tue, 29 Oct 1996 BHDOERKS@bcsc02.gov.bc.ca wrote:

> Hi, I am looking for information on Chinese marriage customs and
traditions, in particular info from the groom's perspective and expectations
and responsibilites to the bride's parents.  I should explain that am I a
caucasian male engaged to a Chinese woman (whose father is Hakka).  Basically
I just want to make sure I get it right and show the proper parental respect. 
I think I want to know more about the processes and procedures of 
approaching the parents with our intentions, info on gifts and doweries,
anything of that nature.  If you could point me in the right direction or
offer any personal observations or experiences I would very much appreciate
it.  Thanks. My e-mail address is:  bhdoerks@bcsc02.gov.bc.ca