Date: 03-06-07 01:20
There is this Chinese woman i really like we are both 27. Until she was
about 24 she spent her whole life in China and then spent 2 years in
France and one year in the UK studying (just so you know her history a
When i met her (feburary 2005) i had never met a Chinese woman before,
she had just been dumped by her boyfriend who was French and living in
France and me and her liked each other.
We went out all the time, would talk all the time on the phone and i
got the feeling there was something between us. Nothing happened
between us except for some flirting a two little kisses (nothing more).
This is as she knew she was going to go back to China about four months
after we met (june 2005) and she did not want anything more than
friends. At one point while i said i wanted to be with her and try at a
relationship with her she kept trying to put me off by saying she was a
bad girlfriend to guys in the past she had dated and that she said "She
did not want to be with me now, but wanted to be with me in the future"
At this point i knew nothing of the cultural differences between
western and eastern dating and im sure now thinking about it i freaked
her out by being a typical westerner and trying to date her like i
would date a western girl (which i know freaked her out).
In November 2005 she came back to London for a few weeks and we met up
for dinner and she was very comfortable sitting with me in dinner
(every sign of someone being very relaxed like with a best friend),
then i mentioned how a friend was making me dinner, we were going to
have some wine and watch a movie together and this chinese woman "Yi"
got jealous her body language went from being very happy and relaxed,
to sitting back in her chair, arms crossed looking very unhappy, the
same type of reaction and look you would give a guy you did not like
who came up and put his hand on your thigh. We continued the evenning
and after that we went to a bar and had a few drinks and she was
flirting with me alot and leaning over me (i know she was a bit tipsy,
but she had never done this before even when she had had a few drinks
before in the past)
Over the next seven months (from june 2005 to march 2006) she would
never say she liked me, but when i mentioned girls to her she got
jealous (she got annoyed when i mentioned another girl and would not
let me talk about her).
From june 2005 to june 2006 i tried to show how much i liked her and
there were times when i was sure she liked me and saw me as more than a
friend and other times just a friend (she was in China now).
I got hurt alot by this and i think now it was not her being a nasty
girl, but me not understanding her cultural background (which i have
read up on and it makes sense how she acted).
I then had a massive argument with her about june 2006 saying i could
not trust her, i dont respect her, i dont think i can be her friend and
i cut contact with her and never wanted to speak to her again.
From June 2006 until December 2006 she did try and get in contact with
me via email and telephoning me, i ignored her until i spoke to her in
December 2006 and we have been speaking since then as friends.
I started to like her again and i have been flirting with her via
email, phone and txt and no matter what i say (something i have said
would offend one of my female chinese friends who is 31), Yi has always
flirted back calling saying im "your Yi" and recently "your always Yi".
When i flirt with her she flirts back and is always laughing and really
happy to talk to me, you see i really like her, she is very sweet,
caring and loving. I now know she would not hurt me, but she plans to
come back to London (which is where i live) in a few months, and she
always says she can't wait to see me and spend time with me and i have
joked about us going on a date and she seems happy with that.
I want to win her heart, i think that i am doing that now, as when i
first me her she would say i am "her Yi" but that was 2 years ago, and
when i had a go at her for flirting with me she stopped, but about a
month ago, i started flirting with her and treating her really well,
being kind to her, talking to her, not being like i was, as i now
understand chinese culture more.
I know she wants to come back to London, but i know she is worried
about her visa, she has a very good chance of coming to the uk, she has
never tried to use me to marry me or asked me for anything to help her
come to the uk or in anyway.
You see i know she would not hurt me, she is not nasty, but i don't
know chinese women or cultures that well. I did not think i thought of
her this way again and i know i have real deep feelings for her, and i
have a feeling there could be something between us if she comes back to
the uk, but i really would like to know how i can tell if she actually
see's me as just a friend or as a future boyfriend.