Author: Paul Yih (---.mad.wi.charter.com)
Date: 11-28-04 09:02
That is merely the world manner and demanor or protocol.
I am Chinese and I grew up in my beloved Brazil ---and we mingled with Italians, Portuguese and many more Europeans.
In years past, upon meeting a lady or a women -- for casualness, we shook hands. When we met our family, for women we kissed both cheeks and lightly (when we are not so close) . often, in the 60s - for a single woman we joke to have one more kiss (third kiss) and we say " o terceiro para casar" -- or the Third kiss is to have you marry off :)
For man, if we are close, we embrace (or Abracamos).
Often in kissing the other gender, we refrain our body contacts, the lower portion of the body is always arched away -- never the pelvic of us touched.
As we have lived now also in the US -- in the norther hemisphere - yes, life can be a bit cooler, so are the folks :) -- But let us have some good understanding of our greetings..
Rumor had said where the Americans have big bubbles -- where we say "hi" by waving and seldom hand shaking that was due to the frontier days when men are on horse backs...(again, any one can chime in for any comments or corrections ).
Hand shakes were developed by the old warriros offering their arms --- as the arm that carry arms -- or swords. Thus extending a hand is to offer peace --
In most Islamic countyr or in the Arab friends Ihave encounter, kissing both cheeks is still a form of greeting amongst friends.
If these Chinese had not learned or to have grown to be accustomed to western way or other way of manner--- be respectful in our own mannter.
I do not take claim to know how to eat sushi or order Sushi properly in Japan -- but we have a brain and we have a mouth --- be nice to your guide or your interpretor and let them walk you thru ----- We have a mouth and we can always ask or we can ask them of their "pardon" if our demeanor is erroneous.
As in Thailand, I love kids, I pat them in their heads as I also do soccer coaching in the US and in Brazil -- we touch often --- but in Thailand, the temple of the head is also their "holy temple" --- so do not touch them their heads, unless they know your gesture has well meaning. I have also noticed in Thailand, crossing ones legs is very impolite ....
I hope these Chinese teachers or students does not see your gesture of friendliness is a sign of "come on"----- and often in the many American university so called "date rapes" was due to the missignals from mamy females given to the male ---
I have been a university college counselor also where I have witnessed numerous where boys were invited to the girls dorm---- where both were alone -- petting, kissing and "making out" -- but for the many so called hot blooded Latins --- yes, Brazilians -- have been accused for their advances or sexual advances when and where the situation was that --- Why invite a man or a boy into your bedroom--- and why go as far as to have bodily contacts, that goes into heavy petting, kissing ------- and yet, when the male is aroused --- there is that "fine" moral values in every one of us -- when to draw the line.
Americans by in large are very casual --- but to have a full sexual contact is another story --
I hope this posting serves a reminder for all of us --- your manner, your signals may read differently from different regions. dress code, low line clothing maybe a form of "invite" unbeknown to you or your guest or your associates.
In your case, tell the boss , you are offended -- and that is another good example for anyone engaging foreigners to know--- an Mexcian American is not the same as European or anyone esle -- Sexual advances is sexual offense -- while flirtation is an "invitation" or response of any male or female sexual calls.
I am blunt in this manner for I have seen enough misreadings in different cultures ---- Just to be embraced by a western women and with their breast pressed against you -- Is not a mating call -- I am saying so for the many Chinese --speically many of them have delayed puberty where they have seldom known or have touched a woman.
I beg your forgiveness is this message is overly blunt.